World Winner
I don’t know if this guy is joking or deliberately dense. He has cut himself the goal of becoming earth emperor, and he is revealing to the world just how he is doing this, and in the process learning what a huge job it is. One of the first things he realized was that he needed lots of money to become Emperor of Earth. How has he decided to get it? “I can get money from donations and I’m also going to start buying lottery tickets, cause you can win lots of money instantly with the lottery.”
That’s a pretty elementary wealth building strategy. You send me money and I’ll buy lottery tickets. If I ever win anything — and if I still want to be Emperor of the Earth — I’ll ask you for a few more bucks. Man, this process is guaranteed.
Another Emperatic idea he has is to read books. He’s just read one 900 page tome and is rallying for another one. This time he will pick out one with fewer pages.
This new emperor of ours has a neat style to his posts that makes you hope he makes it to first base one of these days, if he’d be happy with being ambassador to Outer Mongolia where he could study up on the tactics used by Ghenkis Khan.
This kid is a lot smarter than I was at his age. I had this brilliant idea of buying Swiss electric razors and selling them through the newspapers — because they came out faster than magazines. My whole paycheck went to paying for the boxed ad. I waited three whole days for that ad to come out, and when I read it my heart fell right through the floor.. . “SWIFT electric razors.
No, I didn’t sell a one. In the whole state of Arizona there wasn’t one person smart enough to write (I couldn’t afford a phone back then) and say: “Hey, did you mean SWISS, as in precision?”
We have the cats pretty well trained here.
Now they only come inside the house
when we open the door.
So I climbed out of that hole in less than five years and began importing green frogs from Mexico. Boy, I sold a dickens out of those saphos. Then I ran across some spun glass roosters and elephants from Guadalajara.. And why should I keep these all to myself. Why, I could sell these all across the United States, setting up a distributor in each state.
Good idea. So I (a little smarter this time) put an ad in a national magazine catering to opportunity seekers and my ad said: “Unique Opportunity to become sole distributor of eye-grabbing glass elephants. Send .25 for more information.”
For well over a year I was inundated with quarters. Back then that would buy a gallon of gas. Postage was less than a nickel. And sales, without even a typewriter — with NO pictures, not even a drawing, I made sales of one sample at a time. I tried every way in the world of getting those elephants there in one piece, and failed. The closest I came was when I wrapped one up in an actual Italian Tapestry. The elephant broke in transit, but the guy bought the tapestry — and ordered more. I wish I could say that the rest is history, but I wasn’t that smart.
So now, 47 years later, I like reading the posts of our Earth Emperor, and I think you’ll get a kick out of his posts too. One thing he’s doing better than me is keeping a record of where he has been, and how he got there. I think that’s smart.