1. FIX AND USAGE OF YOUR CHINESE MIST MAKER. (1) Put the mist maker on the base of the stand by the right direction. ============================ I'm old, REAL old! I mean to tell you, 27 years passed away after I was born before I saw my first frisbee. You don't get no older than that. *** The best thing about the good old days was that we were young then, and if I remember right, I think maybe our memories worked better back then too. *** If we build more windows and less walls people will line up for miles to break down the barriers that stand between us. Why Try So Hard? *** A sweet little old lady had missed three weeks of church. When she came back she was using a cane. All her friends crowded around her. "Oh, Phoo. Do you need a cane now?" She smiled to belay their fears and said: "Oh, I don't NEED a cane, but it sure is great for rapping people on the head to get their attention." *** Any time you hear a chortled chuckle and the words, "My doctor won't let me do THAT." you can know of a surety you are listening to a damn fool. *** The thing to do is lean forward slightly and earnestly ask: "Does he also tell you how much to write the check out for?" You Can learn a Lot Two bums met on the street for the first time since they became homeless. "I know just what you mean," said the second bum. "Come on, I want you to meet George." "Not George too!" protested the first bum. He received a nod, and shook his head. "Of course, I always knew he was poor, but a bum?" They walked on down and found George shivering on a snow-capped park bench. "George, George. I'm so sorry to find you here like this. When did it happen?" "I don't know," George told him sadly. "I didn't even realize I belonged here until the Goodwill Store refused to take the clothes I was trying to donate." "Do you think you will ever make it back into society?" asked the first bum. George shook his head. "No. I almost got on welfare once. But that went down the tubes because they found out I had just borrowed some cheap gin for an aftershave when I came in for the first interview, and I didn't really drink." Another bum popped up from the other side of the bench, flinging newspapers every which a way. "I don't know which one is more frustrating: being too broke to go in the store, or having enough money to find out just how little it will buy." The first bum capped it all off for them. "Well, I gotta go. I was walking by a construction site the other day and a dozen workers were lazing around, staring down into a deep dark hole with noxious fumes coming up. The project superintendent was kneeling over the hole, ear up to his cellular phone, listening intently, nodding his head. His eyes were up, staring off to the left as he nodded. I paused for a moment, watching the men at their break. Abruptly the superintendent turned around and shouted: "Good news boys, We're in the right place, even if we are doing the wrong thing." As you read the rest of this page, When I was working as a body guard with Garry who went into some really tough neighborhoods to collect his money, if things got tense he came up with a joke that usually got us out of it. His favorite way of starting the joke was, "Now, if you have heard this one before, don't stop me because I want to hear it again." Garry made himself an irresistible speaker by grabbing your arm and holding on. One salesman made the mistake of asking him why he had decided not to purchase something, and Garry went on for hours, story after story, joke after joke, illustration after illustration about marketing in general and salesmanship in particular, and would not let that salesman leave there, no matter what. At 375 Garry is a growing boy, and he even skipped lunch to continue telling the salesman a few tales. He had the salesman by the arm and would not let go. The more twisted up with agony that poor man's face got, the more urgently Garry delved into the situation at hand. "No, you said you wanted to hear my reasons, so I'm going to tell you. I'm the smartest man I know and if you will just listen, some of my wisdom will rub off on you." The salesman looked so pathetic standing there that I had to get outside so I could get down and roll. A friend of ours came up then. I told him what Garry was doing. He went in, and came back out so HE could roll. He was just getting up when the salesman finally threw the door open and escaped. We wanted to explain to him that it wasn't his fault about Garry. As he rushed to his car we hailed him. "Hey, wait a minute, we want to tell you something." The salesman took one look, recognized our faces, and threw his hat at us as he shouted: "I don't want to hear it!" He left us in the dust, rolling of course. We got up and went back inside, only to find Garry was looking extremely glum. When we asked what the problem was he said: "I forgot the point I was trying to make and had to stop before I was through talking." So, we can always ask Garry about the time he pleaded his own case before the Arkansas Supreme Court. That starts him talking about justice in the American way and he can go on for days with that one and other cases he was actually involved in. Which reminds me of the time Garry and I were in court to testify against this woman who had supposedly robbed her sister of some jewelry we had bought from her. Garry had to identify the woman and the jewelry well enough to make that part of the case stick before the D.A. would charge her with something much worse. I hate courts, and tried my best to give excuse after excuse to get out of going. It didn't work. Over my doubting heart, I was there as a backup, just in case Garry wasn't convincing enough. "You'd never forget Virginia," the detectives had assured me. It turned out, court wasn't so bad after all. There were only two choices of seats left when we came in and of course I chose to plop down beside the prettiest girl there. She was so demure, so sweet, so wonderful that I quite forgot about the court case as we whispered back and forth to get better acquainted. About the fifth time she snugged her dress down to her knees I began to wonder when OUR case was coming up and nudged Garry. "Tell me again what she looks like so I can point her out when they ask me." Garry jerked his head past me, "That's her you're flirting with." I turned and looked Virginia over again real good, then I leaned over and told Garry, "Helluva witness I'm going to make; I hope she gets off!"
Remember, All works here are copyrighted, and are protected under international law. Yes, Virginia, Now there is a Santa Claus. He lives on the World Wide Web. Not only is his pack open for distribution 24 hours a day, he has been cloned thousands of times, along with all his little reindeer. New to the Web? Run your cursor over this line and click I now have everything in this world Queen Isabella was so disappointed in the financial returns of her investment that she came quite close to having Columbus beheaded. One can almost hear her screaming.. “Maybe you did find the treasures of two continents for me, but look at what the shipping costs me just to get a pot of gold!”
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